Hello world!

This looks like fun! You mean I can post just about anything I want, and you viewers will actually read it and make comments? Cool! I can’t always get comments when I talk to people one-on-one. In coming to this realization, I’ve put tremendous pressure on myself, for sure. But the only way I can get better at this blog thing is if you leave comments. Can I count on your help? Don’t you hate when someone just drones on and on about a topic? I mean, they just won’t let it die. If I ever get like that, please promise me you’ll tell me to let it die. I can’t promise I’ll be entering something brilliant every time…or even once. But I can promise that my topics will be heartfelt, or at least something I believe in…or not believe in. Either way, I can promise I’ll have fun delivering it to you–hopefully as much as you will have fun reading it. Feels good, and thanks for allowing me to enter the world of blogdom. Comments, anyone?

Jennifer, this is truly amazing! My jaw hit the floor when I saw this post. I had to reblog this. Such great talent. Thanks for sharing it.

Attempting zero waste lifestyle in a military household

My cousin built this AMAZING Harry Potter house in 8 months from scratch, 80% of it from recycled and repurposed materials–Pringles containers, cardboard boxes, tissue paper, packing materials, small plastic tips off nasal spray. Many of these items he found in his own recycling bin, some out on the curb that folks had put out with the trash.


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Our morning prayer was short. This is normally the case when my husband and I go out early.We meet together to give praise to God and allow for Him to make of the day what He will, with Him allowing us to serve Him to the best of our ability. We pray for our children and grandchildren to have a good day. That’s basically it for now, except when someone needs immediate prayer. Only, this morning I added one more tidbit. A request for God to keep us safe today. After I was done I pondered this. God has always kept us safe, so why did I pray this? We aren’t going anywhere that isn’t safe. Thinking no more of this, I prepared to leave.

So here we are taking the ten minute walk from Point A to arrive at Point B. You may have to help me with this part as I am lousy at algebra. On our trek, we came to a busy intersection. We stopped on the sidewalk anticipating a short wait at the crosswalk. Yea, no waiting. The little man is walking. We can cross now. This must be our lucky day.

We approached the crosswalk together. I noticed one driver slowly approaching the light. Something out her window had her immediate attention. I don’t know that she even noticed us at the crossing. She finally stopped, and we continued ahead to cross the street. My husband, who was on my right, was two steps ahead now since I slowed down a bit watching the young driver. I noticed that she was still not looking at us as we proceeded. This made me a little nervous. I should have waited to cross, but didn’t. I was directly in front of her car now, and focusing on the end of the crosswalk….when she accelerated. My husband tried to pull me out of harm’s way as the car was coming straight toward me. I screamed and she stopped, but not in time. I was bumped with her car. Apparently, she hadn’t noticed us crossing until I screamed. She was making a right turn on red. Her car made contact with my body, but with very little impact. I’m talking minuscule impact, here. I wasn’t injured. I was just jarred a little, that’s it.

How could this be? God shielded us, that’s how. My husband and I have been recipients of His powerful, awesome ways, many times. Like I said, this took place in only seconds. I can’t even recall any details, it happened so fast. All I remember is after I screamed, my husband was with me pulling me back with him, being bumped, then my hands  on the hood of her car. And for some reason I found myself pulling my foot out from under the car to balance myself. (?) This was when I made eye contact with the teenage driver. She appeared shocked. She opened her mouth a couple of times to speak, I think, but emitted no sound. I wasn’t hurt at all, as far as I could tell. Amazing!

I think she was wondering if I would report the accident. I took a quick look back at our morning prayer, and the fact that God had kept us safe determined the outcome of this situation. What would Jesus do? (WWJD) If you have never read the book In His Steps I challenge you to do so. That book is where those initials originated. That church congregation defined what Christianity is all about.

Jesus would forgive this young driver unconditionally. No doubt about it. I opted to do the same. I held my hand up and mouthed the words “It’s okay.” Then walked with my husband to the end of the crosswalk. I was fine. She may have been too scared to speak. I hope this scared her enough to pay attention more while driving. And I really think she will. If she gives herself a chance to think about it, she will possibly realize the near tragedy of hitting two people with her car, had one not screamed to get her attention.

After crossing to the other side we came across a couple that saw what just took place, but we didn’t need them as witnesses. God kept us safe, just as I asked Him to do. It took only seconds for me to ask, and it took only seconds for Him to answer.

Thanks be to God. He gives us the victory through our Lord, Jesus Christ.

Thanks for viewing.

You hear it mentioned all the time, everywhere you go. You think, everybody has it, right? Well, except for horse jockeys, ballerinas, workout gurus, and the like. So none of us has the perfect body. Big deal. What could a little belly fat do to us, huh, kill us?

The answer is — Yes, it can.

We’ve no doubt all heard of the dreaded Heart Disease and

Type 2 Diabetes. That’s what having a bigger waistline can cost us.

 Also estrogen levels can skyrocket, and the added risk of Breast Cancer is more

prevalent. There is the risk of Colorectal Cancer and Cardiovascular Disease as well.

Bells and whistles should be sounding loudly in our heads.

Sounds loud enough that if we chose to ignore them–other caring individuals will hear and succeed in getting us to do something about it by taking  action.

Read this:



The belly fat itself runs deep within the abdomen and surrounds our internal organs. This is called visceral fat, and it is  high on the list for contributing to the risk of  Strokes. Are we scared yet? It should scare us. I mean, if this doesn’t, what will?  Something has to be done to combat belly fat. Ladies, if our waistlines measure 35 inches or more,we are at risk for any of the afore-mentioned diseases or conditions. Men, for you it’s 40 inches and above.

overweight women stomach -

Well, I think we all know what it’s going to take, don’t we? Healthy diet, a good excercise regimen, reduce stress, reduce calories, and proper amount of sleep. I know, this sounds like a lot of work. But I’ve found that if you start with a good workout session, the other things will usually be easier to follow.


Ready for the great news? When we lose weight, our belly fat gets burned first. Yeah, that’s right! And if we add some cardio to our day, we combat stress and get better quality of sleep. That knocks out two on the list right there. How about it? Let’s get started on living a better way, and living another day!

 Thanks for viewing.

Nanu Nanu!

 For those of you who don’t know, the actor of stage, film, and television, Mr. Robin Williams, appears to have ended his own life on the evening of August 10, 2014.  His lifeless body was found at approximately 11:45 am the next day. The actor had battled clinical depression for many years. He also had his bouts with drugs and alcohol. Although he remained sober for 20 years,  unfortunately he suffered a setback  years ago, and sadly reclaiming  him once again.

Robin Williams got his television break playing the character Mork on Happy Days.  A spin-off was offered to him starring with Pam Dawber in Mork & Mindy. I had no idea just how talented this man was until he started branching into movies.

Happy Days (1978-1979)

Dead Poet’s Society



  This man was  a phenomenal actor of our time, giving us such great movies.

Mrs. Doubtfire where we saw the love of a pretty terrific  dad who would move heaven and earth to be close to his children. Good Will Hunting left me spellbound because he showed such depth in the character he played.  In the movie Awakenings, to me he portrayed a doctor with such great love, compassion, and heart for his patients that it rivaled with Patch Adams, which depicted those same awesome qualities. Personally, I cried more watching Patch. Maybe the musical score touched me to the core, or maybe because I felt Patch showed more kindness in making his patients happy, or it could be that Patch lost his lady love in the movie.  I think it was all of the above.  Robin was such a versatile and compelling actor, he actually terrified me with his character in Insomnia.  I couldn’t sleep well at night for a while. I attribute this to the man’s great authenticity of the character. Didn’t  it grab you right in the gut like it did me?



Awakenings (1990)

 Patch Adams



Peruse these links:





I would have loved to have said some things to him face to face. For one, he was high on my list of favorite actors. That no other actor could have portrayed the same characters with such flair and panache as he did. And that no other actor could have stopped you in your tracks or caused you to ponder the smooth yet delicate delivery of his lines.

So…this is goodbye, Mr. Williams. You have served your public well. You are the man of the hour. Thanks for showing us what real, raw acting ability is like. Thanks for putting your soul, your all into each and every character you ever played. Rest well in the knowledge that you gave us your all.

You will be remembered fondly for decades to come. Because newbies will be thrilled with your movies, you will live on in our hearts just as you do on the screen. Thanks for the love and laughter. Thank you for the tears of happiness, sadness, and grief.

So…we’ll just put on a movie and see Robin Williams once again

and enjoy the person he was in our eyes.

Hiya, Patch! I’ll be seein’ ya soon.

Thanks for viewing.

Improve Your Mood

Spring is finally here! It seems to have started late this year, but it finally feels like spring. There is a spring in my step,  and I’m ready to get back to working out and getting my body back in shape and take off this winter coat of excess fat. With the introduction of spring comes a brand new longing to undo the bad I did to it over the winter months. Get back to the mantra “my body is a temple”. We all know that, right? We have to be careful what we put into our temples so we won’t end up in the hospital having surgical proceedures that could have been prevented by putting the right stuff into our bodies. Yeah, I know we can eat anything in moderation, but come on–do we really know when to call it quits on the good stuff (?) Honestly? Okay. That said, we need to start moving again.  We become too sedentary in the winter. Too often we don’t want to go to the gym, or take a walk, or take part in outdoor activities.

Lower Your Heart Disease Risk

We could try getting a pedometer and counting our steps each day. Did you know theywhoever they arewant us to get in 10,000 steps a day?



One sure way to start being more active is to incorporate little changes into our daily lives. Something like this:

Are you watching tv right now? No-no, that’s fine. Just don’t channel surf now, okay? Good. Now, the comfy couch or chair you’re sitting on–I want you to get off of it and stand up. That’s right, I won’t keep you long. Okay now, on the very next commercial I want you to move around. Walk in place, do jumping jacks, leg raises, squats, lunges, just anything that will keep you moving throughout that entire commercial. You know what movements you can do, and what you can’t. So be your own judge. This is a baby step in making small changes for the better in your everyday lives. Work up to doing this through several commercials. Just think of all the calories you will burn and the strength and endurance you will build if you keep this up during all the commercials of the tv programs or movies you watch. This may lead you to do other activities you may have always wanted to try. Walking for your health is one of the safest activities you can engage in. After a while you could add jogging or running, if you like.


woman walking : Power walking woman training in park. Beautiful sporty fitness model during outdoor workout. Mixed race Asian Chinese  Caucasian girl. Stock Photo

Now, about the title of this post. The treat is my motivation to do the activities I’ve set for myself to do during the week. If I don’t complete my workout I don’t get my treat. This can be any small thing I enjoy within reason. I like to watch a movie of my choice, or enjoy something like sherbet on a hot day. This is only paid after I’ve completed my workout for the week, which for me is Sunday.  My brain says: “if you have not completed your full workout for the week-no treat for you!”  ((EEEEEKKK!!!!))    It goes something like this:


See how stern my brain is? Yeah, I don’t want to disappoint my brain often. I shudder when I see this vision in my head. Ugh!

Only I don’t consider soup a treat. I love soup and can enjoy it any time. I’m not gonna work out for it, though. My brain is a mean bugger when it comes to my workouts. Hmm?  Oh, what do I do to work out? Well, I walk/run 3 days a week, and do a floor workout 3 days a week. It’s not all that much. The walk/run is only 30 minutes a day, and the floor exercises are 30-45 minutes. Which means I can quit at 30 minutes every time. It’s my choice. I like that.  I also like the fact that if I do my floor workouts and my walk/runs on the same days…

I get 4 days off! 

The fact is I have leeway. Who is Lee, and which way is he going? I have no clue. But I digress.

Digital timer - stock vector

 What’s that? Why only a 30 minute walk/run? Um, because that’s the time arrangement I can stay committed to without quitting altogether. Huh? Why would I quit? Well, because I know me. I know how I operate. You see, I can be bumping along going my 30 minutes a couple weeks, then decide to go a little longer, say by 15 minutes. Well then my brain gets tough and tells me since I did the longer interval once, I can do it again. This puts pressure on me, so what do I do? I rebel. I say I don’t like the new time limit…so I quit. Not the new time limit. I quit the walk/run.             I know, I know. It shouldn’t be a big deal–but it is.

Much like Jerry Seinfeld,

“I Choose Not To Run!” 

But also like him,  in the end I run anyway.

So after a week of doing nothing but floor excercises AND missing out on my treat for that week–(bummer!) I resume the 30 minute time limit once again, and all is well.

Timer Icon - Illustration - stock photo


So let’s do this thing together.

**Just think of the self-satisfaction we will experience. And all because we made our minds up to make small changes to our day.**

We need to make good health a priority.


I get good results from my workout. How about you? Do you have a plan to get more fit? Just customize your own. Make one that works for you, and that you know you can pretty much stick to. We all have our days when we just want to blow it off…


but if we do…



Thanks for viewing.


The Decision

Once upon a time, long, long ago….actually it’s only been months, but I needed to get your attention. Now that I have it, I’ll continue.  Sadly, this is a true story. Some of you may not believe it. Trust me. This wasn’t easy to write. The details such as names and locations do not matter. It’s the heart of the story that needs to grab your attention.

The main characters in this story are a man and his wife, fifty-ish, and a younger man in his late thirties. The couple and younger man saw each other at the same public place, and one day the younger man showed interest in the couple conversing in bible study. He was invited to join in. He said he would like to sometime, but had some other engagement presently. So he showed up again the next day, shared a little more about himself and his girlfriend, and about how much God had blessed him. Again, he had something that took him away from beginning the study and was gone. The next time the three saw each other, the woman asked the younger man if he wanted to be sure he  had an eternal home in heaven. He countered with, “You know, that’d be great–but– I kind of like the way things are now.”  Shortly after that, he joined in the couple’s  conversation about the Lord, and the older man tried to discern where in the bible  the younger man needed to be to help him in his struggles and relationships.

Arrangements were made to meet for bible study together the following day, but the younger man didn’t show up. A couple of days later he came inside but left quickly. Just before leaving he told several others that the couple were his “good friends” because they understood him. “They get me” he said. The older man went outside and found the younger man having very angry words with someone and cursing him.

Three days went by, and the couple hadn’t seen the younger man. They next received word that the younger man was killed the previous afternoon. Violently stabbed to death multiple times in a public place. His life here on earth was over…just like that…gone. He never gave the couple an answer whether or not he had made the decision to accept Christ as his personal savior. The woman’s husband told her that had been what the younger man meant when he said that  they “get him.” That they knew he was leading two different lives. He was being pulled in two completely different directions.  He was serving two masters–and Satan was winning. Maybe he had won. This was terribly hard for the couple to accept. Maybe if they had tried harder to win the younger man over, thereby pulling him from the other side. Maybe they would have succeeded in that tug of war, thus winning a soul to Christ. This was devastating for the couple.

      In the days that followed, the couple had heard stories depicting the younger man’s lifestyle leading up to the stabbing.  People who knew him said that he lead a different way of life. The couple were disheartened and weren’t sure what to believe. It was unfathomable to think they could do no more for the younger man except pray for his soul.

The couple later found that the younger man had two grown sons who were living a life of violence as well. It made them more aware of the bible’s truths that the hairs on our heads are numbered, and that we can’t add even one day to our life. Not one of us knows the day we’re going to die. Not one of us knows if we have another day to make the most important decision of our lives. It would be good right here if I could say “and they all lived happily ever after” but they didn’t. There was a senseless death– due to the pre-conceived anger of another person. And this individual took this blinding rage into his own hands, ending the life of another human being. Yes, he was  caught and went to jail. And he still has a chance to see heaven. You all know this, right? If this man repents, turns his life around, and follows Christ–he will be saved by our loving Heavenly Father from the fire pits of Hell. He still has time to make the decision. FYI–we as christians have the responsibility to pray for this man to have the opportunity to be led to Jesus. We don’t have the right to hope or pray that he dies a violent death as well. Vengeance, in the life of a christian, is the Lord’s. He will repay. We probably won’t live to see it happen, but we have to trust that it will. The decision to accept or reject Jesus Christ as savior and Lord of our life, is ours. He won’t force us. We make the choice. He wants us to come to Him willingly. What an awesome privilege it is to serve a living God.

As sad as this story was to write, maybe you know of someone who either doesn’t know Christ, or hasn’t made the decison.”  I’m asking that you not assume there’s plenty of time for you to share your faith with others. Or maybe  you don’t know the savior of the world. Through the internet, it’s easier than ever to access all kinds of websites, download music to your MP3 player, listen to podcasts on your SmartPhone, or any number of things. I’m asking you to do yourself or someone else a favor by learning what you can, so you or a friend or family member can make this decision. But before you make it–consider the alternative of living without knowing and serving our God of love.

Hell is a real place, and it’s not pretty. Do some research. Find an online bible if you don’t own one, and search biblical passages using the keyword hell and read the descriptions in those passages. Be informed. Be armed with knowledge. There is no time to waste. Do not, please do not take this lightly. Jesus is coming again for “His church.” You or someone you know will want to be part of it.  Read the “Left Behind” book series or see the movie.


Make this decision yourself or tell others about the information you found during your search. Please understand that this was a tough story to write and relate to you. I wrote it with a goal in mind…to inform, and to help you or another make “the decision.”

Thanks for viewing.

When we sing songs played on the radio, CDs, or other media devices do we really know all the words? Come on, really? Ever been embarrassed by singing with friends and you all sing different lyrics? So who’s right? Some of the artists are at fault here because they can’t be understood totally. Wouldn’t it be fun to see what other people think the lyrics are to popular songs? Isn’t it a great feeling to laugh out loud?

 Okay, let’s just do that.

Peruse this website at your leisure and enjoy all it has to offer.


This website offers things such as:

Brain Candy
Design Web

our bookshelf
Great Links

The Pet Blog

Here are the botched lyrics :

Brain Candy Poetry and Songs

The following are bits and pieces of song lyrics that people have managed to mess up in a funny way.

They’re called “mondegreens.” 

All my luggage, I will send to you.
Actual lyric: All my loving, I will send to you.

Are you going to starve an old friend?
Actual lyric: Are you going to Scarborough Fair?
(Simon & Garfunkel)

A weenie wack a weenie wack a weenie wack.
Actual lyric: Wee-ooh wim-o-weh. Wee-ooh wim-o-weh.
(Tokens “The Lion Sleeps Tonight”)

Baby come back, you can play Monopoly.
Actual lyric: Baby come back, you can blame it all on me.
(Player “Baby Come Back”)

Baking carrot biscuits. 
Actual lyric:Taking care of business.
(Bachman-Turner Overdrive “Takin Care Of Business”)

Tape it to a biscuit.
Actual lyric: Taking care of business.
(Bachman-Turner Overdrive “Takin Care Of Business”)

Bald headed woman.
Actual lyric:More than a woman.
(Bee Gees)

Four-legged woman.
Actual lyric:More than a woman.
(Bee Gees)

Big girl, small fry.
Actual lyric:Big girls don’t cry.
(The Four Seasons)

Big ole Jed had a light on. 
Actual lyric:Big old jet airliner.
(Steve Miller Band)

Pick out Jed from the line-up. 
Actual lyric:Big old jet airliner.
(Steve Miller Band)

The bride bless the day, the dogs say goodnight.
Actual lyric: The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night.

Bringing in the sheets.
Actual lyric: Bringing in the sheaves.

Carryin’ beans, now we’re sharin’ the same jeans.
Actual lyric: Carribean Queen, now we’re sharing the same dreams.
(Billy Ocean)

Climb every mountain.
Actual lyric: I’m every woman.
(Whitney Houston)

Come and let me tell you ’bout my bed spread.
Actual lyric: People let me tell you ’bout my best friend.
(Theme from the TV Show, “Courtship of Eddie’s Father”)

Come shave my heart.
Actual lyric:Unchain my heart.
(Ray Charles)

Dirty deeds and the thunder chiefs.
Actual lyric:Dirty deeds and they’re done dirt cheap.

Dirty deeds done to sheep.
Actual lyric:Dirty deeds and they’re done dirt cheap.

Do a little dance, make a little rum, Italian Ice! Italian Ice!
Actual lyric:Do a little dance, make a little love, get down tonight, get down tonight.
(KC & The Sunshine Band “Do A Little Dance”)

Do the lucky lady.
Actual lyric:Dude looks like a lady.

Donuts make my brown eyes blue. 
Actual lyric:Don’t it make my brown eyes blue.
(Crystal Gale)

Every time you go away you take a piece of meat with you. 
Actual lyric:Every time you go away you take a piece of me with you.
(Paul Young)

Ghost man so close to me.
Actual lyric:
Don’t stand so close to me.
(The Police)

Give me the Beach Boys and free my soul.
Actual lyric:Give me the beat, boys, and free my soul.
(Dobie Gray “Drift Away”)

Goin’ to the Jack-O-Lantern, gonna get married.
Actual lyric:Goin’ to the chapel and we’re gonna get married.
(Dixie Cups, “Chapel of Love”)

Got a lot of lucky peanuts.
Actual lyric:Got a lot of love between us.
(Frankie Vallee and the Four Seasons)

Good-bye yellow brick road
There’s a dark cloud inside of the house.

Actual lyric:So goodbye yellow brick road
Where the dogs of society howl.
(Elton John)

Ham on rye.
Actual lyric: I’m alright.
(Kenny Loggins)

Hang on stupid.
Actual lyric: Hang on, Sloopy.
(The McCoys)

Happy as a rafter in the market place.
Actual lyric: Happy ever after in the market place.
(Beatles “Ob la di”)

Hold me closer, Tony Danza
Count the head lice on the highway.
Actual lyric: Hold me closer, tiny dancer.
(Elton John “Tiny Dancer”)

Home, where my love lies waiting, Simon, weep for me.
Actual lyric: Home, where my love lies waiting, silently for me.
(Simon & Garfunkel “Homeward Bound”)

Hope the city voted for you.
Actual lyric: Hopelessly devoted to you.
(Grease soundtrack)

How’s about a date?
Actual lyric: Eyes without a face.
(Billy Idol “Eyes Without a Face”)

I can see clearly now the rain has gone.
I can see all life’s fickles in the way
Actual lyric: I can see clearly now the rain has gone.
I can see all obstacles in my way.
(Jimmy Cliff)

I can’t climb this ceiling any more.
Actual lyric:I can’t fight this feeling anymore.
(REO Speedwagon “I can’t fight this feeling”)

I, I, I, I sing in the light, sing in the light. 
Actual lyric:Stayin’ Alive, Stayin’ alive.
(Bee Gees)

I shot the Sheriff, but I didn’t shoot him dead you see.
Actual lyric:I shot the Sheriff, but I didn’t shoot the deputy.
(Eric Clapton)

I wanna die!
Actual lyric:Oh, what a night!
(The Four Seasons, “December 1963 (Oh What a Night)”)

I wanna know
Have you ever seen Loraine?

Actual lyric:I wanna know
Have you ever seen the rain?
(Creedence Clearwater Revival)

I want a new truck.
Actual lyric:I want a new drug.
(Huey Lewis & the News)

I was so mad! 
Actual lyric:I’m a soul man.
(Blues Brothers)

I wonder, wonder, who,
who rode the moo-cow now?
Actual lyric:I wonder, wonder, who,
who wrote the book of love?
(The Monotones “Book of Love”)

I’ll give you diamond Sprite!
Actual lyric:I’ll give you diamonds bright.
(The Yardbirds “For Your Love”)

I’ll never leave your pizza burning. 
Actual lyric:I’ll never be your beast of burden.
(Rolling Stones)

I’m 264 my shirt, 264 my shirt, 264.
Actual lyric:I’m too sexy for my shirt too sexy for my shirt.
(Right Said Fred “I’m Too Sexy”)

I’m a pool hall ace.
Actual lyric:My poor heart aches.
(The Police “Every Step You Take”)

I’m just a squirrel.
Actual lyric:I’m just a girl.
(No Doubt)

I’m not talking ’bout Bolivia.
Actual lyric:I’m not talking ’bout moving in.
(John Ford Collie “Really Love to See You Tonight”)

I’ve been haulin’ ass so long. 
Actual lyric:I’ve been holding out so long.
(Rolling Stones “Miss You”)

I’ve got a new pair of shoes. 
Actual lyric:I’ve got a new attitude.
(Patti LaBelle)

In-a-gadda-da-vita . . . 
Actual lyric:In the garden of Eden, honey.
(Iron Butterfly)
The band, themselves, while drunk in 1968, botched the lyrics, and decided to keep them this way.

I’m the god of Velveeta, honey. 
Actual lyric:In the garden of Eden, honey.
(Iron Butterfly)

Jay, Jay, Jay; Jay you’re cool
Actual lyric:Chain, chain, chain, chain of fools.
(Aretha Franklin “Chain of Fools”)

Jim Dandy ate the red stew
Actual lyric:Jim Dandy to the rescue.
(Black Oak Arkansas)

Jose can you see?
Actual lyric:O, Say can you see?
(The Star Spangled Banner)

Just brush my teeth before you leave me, baby. 
Actual lyric:Just touch my cheek before you leave me, baby.
(Juice Newton “Angel of the Morning”)

Just like a one-winged dove.
Actual lyric:Just like a white winged dove.
(Stevie Nicks)

Knee deep in doughnuts, children at your feet.
Actual lyric: Lady Madonna, children at your feet.
(The Beatles)

Let Milo open the door.
Actual lyric: Let my love open the door.
(Pete Townsend, The Who)

Last night I dreamt of some bagels.
Actual lyric:Last night I dreamt of San Pedro.

Life ain’t nothing but a seven dollar fiddle.
Actual lyric:Life ain’t nothing but a funny funny riddle.
(John Denver)

Life in the Vaseline.
Actual lyric:Life in the fast lane.

Look into my butterflies.
Actual lyric:Look into my father’s eyes.
(Eric Clapton, “My Father’s Eyes”

Looks like tomatoes
Actual lyric:Looks like we made it.
(Barry Mannilow)

Love is a big, fat quivering slug.
Actual lyric:Love is a big, fat river in flood.
(Sting “Love Is Stronger Than Justice”)

Maerzee dotes and dozee dotes and little lamsee divey
a kiddle ee iveetoo, wouldn’t you? 

Actual lyric:Mares eat oats and does eat oats and little lambs eat ivy,
A kid’ll eat ivy too, wouldn’t you?
(Children’s Song)
The “misunderstood” lyrics here are actually correct. The song is gibberish. It is meant to teach a child enunciate when learning to sing/speak.

Maybe I’ll play cards and be as fast as you.
Actual lyric: Maybe I’ll break hearts and be as fast as you.
(Dwight Yokum)

Michelle, Ma Belle,
Sunday Monkey Play No Piano Song,
No Piano Song.
Actual lyric:Michelle, ma belle,
Sont des mots qui vont tres bien ensemble,
Tres bien ensemble.
(The Beatles)

My woman is Okay-O.
Actual lyric: My woman from Tokyo.
(Deep Purple “Woman From Tokyo”)

A new religion that’ll bring you to your knees,
like Velveeta Cheese.

Actual lyric:A new religion that’ll bring you to your knees,
Black velvet if you please.
(Allanah Myles “Black Velvet”)

Oh my darling lemon pie.
Actual lyric:Oh my darling, Clementine.
(traditional song)

Only the good Tyrone.
Actual lyric:Only the good die young.
(Billy Joel)

Pay for my Chrysler.
Actual lyric:Paperback writer.

Take the back right turn.
Actual lyric:Paperback writer.

Please relieve me – let me go. 
Actual lyric:Please release me, let me go.
(Englebert Humperdinck)

Pretty Woman, won’t you lick my leg.
Actual lyric:Pretty Woman, won’t you look my way.
(Roy Orbison)

Red, red wine, steak, lobster meat.
Actual lyric:Red, red wine, stay close to me.

Return da Zenda.
Actual lyric:Return to sender.
(Elvis Presley)

Reverend Bluejeans.
Actual lyric:Forever in blue jeans.
(Neil Diamond)

‘Scuse me while I kiss this guy. 
Actual lyric:‘Scuse me while I kiss the sky.
(Jimi Hendrix)

Searching for my lost singer from Mars.
Actual lyric:Searching for my last shaker of salt.
(Jimmy Buffett “Margaritaville”)

Secret Asian man.
Actual lyric:Secret agent man.
(Johnny Rivers)

She loved Cheez-Its, and America too.
Actual lyric:She loved Jesus, and America too.
(Tom Petty, “Free Fallin”)

Since she left me there’ve been owls pukin’ in my bed.
Actual lyric:Since she put me down I ‘ve been out doin’ in my head.
(Beach Boys “Help Me Rhonda”)

She’s got a chicken to ride.
Actual lyric:She’s got a ticket to ride.

She’s got a tick in her eye.
Actual lyric:She’s got a ticket to ride.

She’s got electric boobs, a mohair too.
Actual lyric:She’s got electric boots, a mohair suit.
(Elton John “Benny and the Jets”)

Slow walkin’ Walter.
Actual lyric:Smoke on the water.
(Deep Purple)

Snow covered horses.
Actual lyric:Smoke on the water.
(Deep Purple)

Stand on the rug.
Actual lyric:Band on the run.

Stick your head in lotion.
Actual lyric:I second that emotion.
(Smokey Robinson & The Miracles “I Second That Emotion”)

Straight arm, straight arm for you.
Actual lyric:Straight on, straight on for you.

Sugar fried honey butt.
Actual lyric:Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch.
(Four Tops “Can’t Help Myself”)

Sweet dreams are made of cheese.
Actual lyric:Sweet dreams are made of this.
(The Eurythmics)

Sweet tell a lie.
Actual lyric:Sweet Caroline.
(Neil Diamond)

The ants are my friends, they’re blowing in the wind.
Actual lyric:The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind.
(Bob Dylan)

The girl with colitis goes by.
Actual lyric:The girl with kaleidoscope eyes.

The heart of rock and roll is in Cleveland.
Actual lyric:The heart of rock and roll is still beating.
(Huey Lewis and the News)

Then I saw her face, now I’m gonna leave her.
Actual lyric:Then I saw her face, now I’m a believer.
(The Monkees)

There’s a bathroom on the right.
Actual lyric:There’s a bad moon on the rise.

Through the night, with the light from a bulb. 
Actual lyric:Through the night, with the light from above.
(“God Bless America”)

You and me and Leslie.
Actual lyric:You and me endlessly.
(The Young Rascals “Groovin”)

You have lost your gum forever
dreadful sorry, Clementine. 

Actual lyric:You are lost and gone forever
dreadful sorry, Clementine.
(traditional song)

You made the rice, I made the gravy.
Actual lyric:You may be right, I may be crazy.
(Billy Joel)

You picked a fine time to leave me, Lucille,
four hundred children and a crop in the field.

Actual lyric:You picked a fine time to leave me, Lucille,
four hungry children and a crop in the field.
(Kenny Rogers “Lucille”)

Went to a dance, lookin’ for a man,
Saw Barbara Ann so I thought I’d take a chance.
Actual lyric:Went to a dance, lookin’ for romance,
Saw Barbara Ann so I thought I’d take a chance.
(The Beach Boys “Barbara Ann”)

Wrapped up like a douche.
Actual lyric:Revved up like a deuce.
(Manfred Mann

Hope you liked the post.
Do you have some mondegreens to add? Tell me. I could use a good laugh.
Thanks for viewing.


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