Wake up!
Love lift us up where we belong…..
The song lyrics above take on a whole different meaning after we reach thirty-something. Don’t they, ladies? What a great movie. Couldn’t you just melt into Richard Gere’s arms? Not many actors have what he has. Great…um…acting ability. Star quality. That’s what I meant. Really, I did. A-hem! Anyway, my point is this, and I’m still speaking to the female population, not everything stays lifted up where it belongs. Let me clarify. Things, and by things I mean breasts, butt, and face, start to go south after a while. Yes, they do. It won’t do us any good to deny it. We can still do something about it, though. We can lift everything back up where they belong. This includes our faces. They droop and we get a double chin. We also lose our facial tone.
But no more.
Something I saw in a magazine caught my attention as a teenager. Excuse me? Yes, it was a lon-n-n-g time ago. Okay, where was I going with this? Oh, yeah. What caught my attention was a new type of exercise for your face. No, I am not kidding. You have probably seen some of them by now, but back then they were new. Have you actually tried any of them? Uh-huh, I thought not. Well, why not give them a try? They work. I’ve decided to share with you some of the ones that I use. Don’t hide your excitement; I know you’re grateful…..It’s my pleasure. In fact, to get these moves down pat I have decided to use the help of others through video clips and photos.
You’re welcome.
Now, these are not attractive positions for the face, so never, I mean ne-ver let anyone see you doing these. Promise me. In fact, they’re pretty ugly. You don’t believe me? Watch yourself in the mirror, but lock that door!
So, to pretty up that already pretty face–
you’ve got to get ugly!
Trust me, I have done these moves for years. They are super-beneficial to you. They really wake up your face. And in time, if you commit to doing these daily, you could give yourself a free face-lift. No, I don’t know this to be true, but it could happen. I was just trying to motivate you. Do I do these daily? Yes. For a time, I do. But then my time runs out, and I quit. I don’t quit, though, unless I see results. And you know what they say. You don’t know? Okay, this is what they say.‘When you see a change in yourself for the better, others have seen the change, first.’ So there you have it. Remember, they said it.
The main thing to keep in mind is when you stop–oh yeah, you will–give yourself a hiatus, then start again. And keep it up. Remember: A hiatus is just a vacation. Okay, maybe it’s a long vacation, but still a vacation. It’s not forever. You want to tone those facial and neck muscles, and lose the extra chin–or chins. But please, whenever you do these exercises, go into a room, lock the door, and step away from the window. You don’t want to scare your little ones. Trust me on this.
**Please do not try these if you have any problems with your neck, shoulders, back, or spine.
If you aren’t sure you can do them, check with your doctor first. This is extremely important, so please be cautious.
Now, to help demonstrate these exercises I have selected a few celebrities who can show you the moves.
Are you ready? Great! Really ugly it up, okay? The uglier, the better. Here we go:
Here we have Dick Van Dyke to demonstrate “ooo, ahh, eee.”
No, Dick. It’s “ooo.”
Maybe Mary can help. You two are always together. 
His brother has the idea.
Great “ahhh,” Jerry!
Still no. Open wide and say…oh, nevermind. I’ll stick with Jerry for this one.
Now you’ve got it! Great! Okay, now I need an “eee.”
Oh, very funny.
Okay, but it’s too relaxed. I need you to show more tension. Like brushing your teeth. I need tense neck and facial muscles for this exercise.
And therewe have it! Mary performs a great “eee.” Terrific, Mary.
I’m sure you have the concept of “ooo, ahh, eee” now.
Next is the nose twitch.
Great, Dick.
Mary, hahaha!
Mary here, is the exception to the rule. She just looks gorgeous no matter what faces she makes. She couldn’t be ugly if she tried. I know, not fair. Why did I put her in my post, anyway? Oh, yeah. She came with Dick.
Okay. Now Elizabeth has the nose twitch down to an art. But she’s way too fast.
So here’s a no nonsense sort of guy in a video clip who does it right. Richard Simmons.
In fact, he has a lot of the moves in this clip that I’ve already shared with you. Huh…wonder if he read the same magazine where I found the exercises. Anyway… Okay, Richard….we’re ready when you are.
Copy this URL to your browser.
And there you go!
How are you doing? Are you following all this?
Great!
Well, I didn’t find anyone to demonstrate the last two moves, so I will do my best to tell you how to do them, myself. Nope. Sorry, no video. You think I want anybody seeing me with my face in those positions? No way. Back to work now.
These are designed to work your jaw and neck:
Tilt your head way back, and open your mouth wide for two seconds. Then close your mouth and pout. I mean really pout. Bring your bottom lip up to cover your top lip. Go up farther, if possible. Hold here for two seconds, open your mouth wide, then repeat these two moves ten times. Do this for a week, then increase five additional reps each week, with your ultimate goal being 25 reps. But only if you are serious about toning. You may get results with less. Who’s to say? Or maybe you only want to do enough to wake up your chin, jaw, and neck. That’s perfectly fine, too. You decide. You’re the boss.
Another take on the “open wide and pout” is this:
Look way up, pout as before, pull your head down into your chest, and open wide. Do either one. I don’t suggest both. Too much of the same thing. You’ll get bored and quit.
We have one more. Yep, last one. Whew! On this one we repeat our vowels. this one is an isometric exercise. You should stand for this one. Up, up, up!
That’s it. Now, say your vowels as before. Hold the palms of your hands over your forehead, pressing your head back with your palms while pressing forward with your head at the same time. That’s it.
An added benefit…
This will strengthen your upper arms, too.
An-n-n-d — if you tense your abs when you do these you’re getting a two-fer! (two for one)
You’ve added two exercises to make that six body parts worked out in a matter of minutes!
I just knew you’d be excited!
Oh, yeah. I forgot.
Do ten reps for the first week, increasing five more reps each week, until you reach 25 reps.
Do these exercises until they become a habit. How long is that? Well, someone said it takes doing something 23 times in a row to become a habit, and even longer to break that habit. I don’t know who said it. They probably said it. They seem to know everything. But it sounds about right, doesn’t it?
Okay. Here’s the good part.
The good part…
Once it becomes a habit you can stop counting, and do just ten reps each.
Later, you can get by with your favorite two or three moves, decreasing to 20 reps each.
Don’t be silly! You can’t get away with only doing five reps. C’mon, be serious.
Watch this. It’s the famous quote
” You cannot be serious!” from bad boy tennis great John McEnroe:
You may have to copy this link to your browser too.
Annnd…we’re back!
But if you rush yourself and do too many before you’re ready, you will be sore. I’m giving you fair warning. These are muscles we’re talking about.
The after effects…
After you achieve the toned appearance you seek, you will in all reality give a tremendous boost to your skin. Your skin cells seem to like the attention paid to your facial features. They will reward you bringing a rush of blood flow to your countenance, providing you with a healthier, natural glow. How’bout that?
It’s win-win!
Again, I knew you’d be excited.
BUT…
only you know the extent of exercise you intend to put into this regimen. Am I right?
- It will take diligence
- It will take developing an attitude of stick-to-it-ive-ness.
Like I said, gravity takes its toll after a while–our faces included.
So…
if we are willing to put in the work it takes to tone and lift, we can defy gravity for a good while. One thing I know–we don’t want to be looking down into a mirror, and have our faces falling forward like in this sitcom:
Go to youtube.com
then type in the search bar:
Golden Girls – Blanche and the Mirror
C’mon, do it.
Yeah, like that.
Wouldn’t that be a scary sight? (((shudder)))
You know what I think? I think we’re ready to commit.
Yes we are!
Okay, let’s get ugly!
Who’s with me?
YEAH!!
Just do it!
Thanks for viewing.
STOP HERE, I WANNA GET OFF! 